Talking #TeamCWPT blog

Content warning: this article references suicidal thoughts and alcohol misuse

Toby is a peer support worker in our Op COURAGE Service, which offers mental health support for veterans, but before this, he served in the army for 23 years. Prior to joining CWPT, Toby accessed Op COURAGE as a patient, and it was the lifesaving support he received that made him want to give back and become a support worker.

I joined the army at 16 and served for 23 years. During my time there, I suffered post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). I served in some nice places, and some not so nice places, one of which was Bosnia. It was after Bosnia that I experience PTSD. I met my wife whilst I was in the army, and we were married for 12 years.

Life after the army was challenging, and it was hard to adjust. Trying to find jobs and deal with everything I had experienced was difficult. I moved around a bit; I'd lost touch with my family. My wife was my rock through it all - she knew exactly how to deal with my moods, and what to do to take my mind of things. 9 years ago, she died from cancer and that's where things got even worse. I didn't know how to deal with the loss of her, whilst also dealing with my PTSD, so I turned to alcohol.

Drinking was always something I did. I played rugby in the army and drinking was a big part of the rugby culture and the army in general, so I used that to numb the pain. It got to the point where my daughter had to move out to live with friends, as I wasn't well enough to look after her. At that point, alcohol was the only thing in me.

I was sectioned 5 times throughout this period and kept on secure units as I often thought about suicide. It wasn't until the penultimate stay that I learned about Op COURAGE, so I reached out to them and that's when it all changed.

Someone from the team came to see me, and the first thing they said was that the drinking had to stop. We couldn't deal with my mental health problems until I was sober, so they arranged for me to go to Tom Harrison House, a rehab centre for veterans. It was at Tom Harrison House that I found out I had pancreatic cancer, so I had to get treatment for that before I could start the rehab process. I had 3 quarters of my pancreas removed, and if they hadn't have found that early, I might not be here.

After I completed my rehab, I was able to get support for my PTSD and mental health problems from Op COURAGE, which included therapy. I progressed enough to rent a house for myself and consider what I wanted to do next.  One of the things that stuck in my head was the people who helped me, and I always had the idea that I'd like to do that job so I can help other veterans who are struggling like I was.

I got my diploma in counselling and did the other relevant qualifications I needed and then was told about a job role within the new Op COURAGE team run by CWPT. I applied and successfully got the position, and now I'm a Veterans' peer support worker in OP Courage.

In my role, I tend to do a lot of work with veterans who are struggling with alcohol, because of my background with addiction. When you're in the madness, it's hard to see an end to it, so I'm there to just chat to them and show them that it can get better. I'll go and do home visits or try and get people out and about, as PTSD can be really isolating. I do a lot of things really, and it's all based off support the individual needs. Every individual is different, and the support we give is therefore different.

Reflecting on his journey, Toby truly believes he wouldn't be here without the support he got from Op COURAGE.

Nigel and Sarah, from Op COURAGE, basically saved my life. Without them and the rehab support I got from Tom Harrison House, I probably wouldn't be here. Without their support, the drinking would have continued, I might have succeeded in my suicide attempts, or the cancer would have gone unnoticed. They saved my life.

 For any veteran struggling like I was, I would definitely recommend the service. I can't recommend them highly enough and I would urge anyone struggling to get in touch and get the help you deserve. They've given me a new lease on life. I've still got some medical problems, and I still have some mental problems, but I get on with it and I now know how to get help if I need it. I'm looking forward to the future, however it decides to show itself. I love my job and if I can help save just one veteran from the hardship I went through, then I'm succeeding.

Since 2011, CWPT has strived to provide high quality care to our Armed Forces community through the development of the wider Op COURAGE Midlands Team.  Op COURAGE is an NHS service developed with people who have served in the Armed Forces and experienced mental ill-health. Working together with NHS services and charities, Op COURAGE makes sure people who have served and are struggling with their mental health and wellbeing get specialist care, support and treatment for their specific needs. Alongside CWPT, Midlands Op COURAGE is proudly delivered in partnership with Lincolnshire Partnership NHS Foundation Trust, Birmingham and Solihull Mental Health NHS Foundation Trust, St Andrew's Healthcare, Walking With The Wounded, The Ripple Pond, Tom Harrison House, and Mental Health Matters.

Midlands Op COURAGE is one of 6 regional providers of the service in England, and since April 2023 has supported almost 4,000 veterans, service leavers, reservists and their families across both the East and West Midlands.